Agents of Gotham: The New Commissioner Gordon Series

Yesterday, the Marvel TV series tie-in, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., premièred.

Yesterday, it was also coincidentally announced that FOX are going through with the new DC TV series tie-in, Gotham. 

I’m kidding, of course it’s not a bloody coincidence, DC were being timely dicks. But it happened and the show’ll focus on the hard-working, oft-moustachio’d Commissioner Gordon.

Not the death-defying Gary Oldman James Gordon, but a younger Detective Gordon. One who hasn’t met Batman. 

Don’t fucking expect Batman.

And definitely don’t expect Robert “Everybody Love Me” Downey Jr. 

I could have said Iron Man, but I think internet dwellers get instant boners when they hear his name. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE!

Too much? Is the amount of awesomeness too damn high, is it? Is it, meme people?

You know what? Don’t expect any superhero to make an appearance. It’s been said that Gotham will not feature any. However, we do get villains. Specifically “the villains that made Gotham famous”. 

It seems like Gotham might be focussing on mob bosses like the Falcone family and probably other well-known Gotham residents. Maybe we’ll get the occasional “supervillain” like Calendar Man, Riddler and hopefully the Holiday Killer. 

No announcements have been made as to who will be who since a bunch of networks have just finished bidding for it, but British writer Bruno Heller (The Mentalist, Rome) is set to pen the script.

That’s all the information I have from my inside source.

Keep coming back for…stuff…I write. It’s not boring sometimes!

Line Between Entertaining and Annoying

Let’s be honest, Family Guy rests precariously on that line.

I’m not going to even try and describe Family Guy here because I’m assuming anyone who will ever see this blog will have heard of and seen at least one episode of the show. It’s arguably as famous as The Simpsons and arguably better…you know, since The Simpsons took a tragic turn and gradually lost most of it’s funny.

Family Guy does deliver laughs. No doubt. But I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to rally against it’s unbearably obvious and excruciatingly drawn out moments which seem to be used for filler of episodes running low on jokes.

Anyone who remembers the Conway Twitty and dislikes country music as much as me will know how fucking annoying these stupid fillers are. It serves to discredit Seth McFarlene and the writers of the show when they have to resort to taking up five minutes for a joke that had lost steam seasons back (I’m looking at you chicken fight. I mean seriously.)

Moments like these seem to appear in every episode and they’re like cancerous tumours slowly taking over and destroying an otherwise great show.

Can you tell I’m in serious ranty mode right now. Because I get seriously fucking irritated when a gag goes on too long. I get angry to a point where I worry about the extent to which I can get pissed over a crappy gag.

I wanna punch something. Preferably a kitten.

But Family Guy is an awesome show. I’m not saying it isn’t. But that just makes the disappointment hit harder when I’m in disbelief for having to listen to a five minute long song called Shipoopi.

Five minutes is a quarter of a show that’s generally about twenty minutes long.

It’s kinda shameful. Although I’ve been a bit melodramatic so far, it’s certainly shameful. And it’s cheap.

But it’s still so damn good.

Beef Artist

You see, there’s this animated sitcom called Bob’s Burgers. It revolves around a fast food restaurant run by a family consisting of an unlucky father, a nasally, enthusiastic mother and their three brilliant children, the strange pubescent Tina (who has a complicated relationship with zombies), the immature chubby Gene and the manipulative, trouble-stirring Louise.

Granted, my description of the show is on par with the Sky TV Guide, but it’s better than I could possibly make it sound. It’s funnier than Family Guy (“there’s a fine line between entertaining and annoying” – Bob) and the crude animations make for the best dancing you’ve ever seen, flailing limbs have never been so enchanting. ALSO, Mel and Eugene the Landlord from Flight of the Conchords voice Louise and Gene respectively. So…if you like that show…umm…

For fuck’s sake, I find it really hard to write to persuade people to watch shows. Which is pretty detrimental considering the subject of this blog.

How about you watch this clip. It’s less than two minutes. And don’t be lazy click the link. Because if you like it, then that’s three seasons of 45 episodes that you can be lazy with in the future.

Top Ten Office UK Quotes

Click the underlined links for full effect.

10

When Brent tells his boss that he promised his employees no redundancies.

JENNIFER:       Well, surely it’s going to be worse for morale in the long run when there are redundancies and you’ve told people that there won’t be.

[pause]

BRENT:             They won’t remember.

9

Tim loves annoying his oblivious co-worker. And of course such a boy will be born. He shall be called Sharkboy and will grow up to play an alpaca in Twilight.

TIM:                 What are you thinking Gareth?

GARETH:         I was thinking, will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

8

Addressing complaints from his new employers.

BRENT:           You will never work in a place like this again. This is brilliant. Fact. And you will never have another boss like me. Someone who’s basically a chilled –out entertainer.

7

Talking about Comic Relief and the type of arguments that go on in the Henry-French household.

BRENT:           Oh, what would Lenny Henry say? I think we know. Imagine him going out of the door on Comic Relief day and Dawn French is going, “Where are you going, you haven’t done the washing up. You haven’t put the rubbish out”

[puts up middle finger]

“DO IT YOURSELF, I’VE GOTTA SAVE SOME AFRICANS!”

6

Going down into the office warehouse.

TIM:                Now guys, we’re about to enter a warehouse environment. Now I must warn you that some of the people in here will be working class, so there may be some arse cleavage. So just find a partner, hold hands. Don’t talk to anyone though.

5

Brent’s political correctness turning politically incorrect.

BRENT:          It’s like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go “Ooh, look at him, he’s not able-bodied. I am, I’m prejudiced.” Yeah, well at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he’s not. It’s difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

4

Talking about his mate, Finchy, who he idolises.

BRENT:          Chris Finch was in an argument once and he went, “How can I hate women, my Mum’s one”…Yeah? There’s a lot of truth in that.

3

He really is. He has a music video.

BRENT:          People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: “You’re not fooling anyone”, they know I’m rock and roll through and through.

2

Tim being funny.

TIM:               I think it was John Lennon who said, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” And that’s how I feel. Although he also said, “I am the Walrus, I am the eggman,” so I don’t know what to believe.

1

Tim’s awesome self-depreciating humour. My favourite funny quote.

TIM:              I’m a heck of a catch, cos…er, well look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house, with my parents. I have my own room, which I’ve had since…yep, since I was born. That’s seen a lot of action I tell you. Mainly dusting. I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I’m a quitter. So, er…form an orderly queue ladies.