Classic TV Moment: Dragon Ball Z

Dragon Ball Z is really something special. During its run, thousands of children all over the world popped blood vessels and pulled muscles trying to achieve the legendary Super Saiyan form.

As far as I’m aware, no one succeeded. Of course, to become Super Saiyan you’d have to be a Saiyan warrior, preferably with the name of a vegetable. Like potato. Or onion. And both of them are fucking vegetables.

Goku AKA Kakarot fulfilled these requirements. And after hearing about the mysterious Super Saiyan level during the previous sagas, its first appearance became frickin‘ historical. Goku turning Super Saiyan for the first time was one of the best moments I’ve ever witnessed on TV. This moment was spoilt for me years later when I found out who voiced Goku.

Apparently this guy passed out from screaming in the recording booth. He’s so damn meek! I know it’s not his fault…with his fucking sideburns.

So the classic TV moment is Goku going blonde. It was amazing. Granted Krillin dying wasn’t the most terrible thing to happen for two reasons: one, he achieved very little and was a liability in general to the Z Warriors and two, everyone in this show is brought back to life all the fucking time. I know there’s that whole “three chances to wish them back” thing, but even when Goku properly died, he still came back…except he had a halo. He literally only became more spectacular. He’s like a cool Jesus.

…not that Jesus isn’t cool.

So Goku turning Super Saiyan 1 was fantabulous. Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 was pretty funky too. Then everyone just turned Super Saiyan and it kinda became meh.

I mean…Goten does it by accident just to kick his mother ? What a dick.

Done. I’ve released all the pent up fanboy emotions I’ve been thriving off. And once my suppressed nerd rage becomes too much again, I’ll be talking about Pokemon.

Because this blog wasn’t made to attract women.

Classic TV Moment: The Flintstones

Debuting in 1960, this moment should come as no surprise from a TV show that demonstrated overt cruelty to prehistoric animals who always looked understandably depressed.

The Classic Moment centres around a specific sponsor, which was tied to the show in its first two seasons. Before I go any further, we must all remember that we’ve all done things we’re not proud of in order to forward ourselves.

Winston cigarettes sponsored The Flintstones, and not in a way that an advert would come as soon as the break began and they’d just say “Winston cigarettes, sponsors The Flintstones“. It was way more convincing.

The characters themselves embraced the sponsorship because, I assume, it was part of their contract. In one, Fred and Barney just chill outside getting their nicotine high while their wives doing housework.

Sexism in the Stone Age, amirite?

Fred, Barney and Wilma quit smoking and dropped the sponsorship when Wilma became pregnant. I think they could have had the prehistoric foetus pulling a pack from his skin pocket and lighting up in the womb, but whatever. Instead they changed there sponsor to Welch’s Grape Juice, which was probably chosen because it was Pebbles’ favourite drink.

Did you have a “gay, old time”?…ha….haha….HAHAHA!!! You don’t get that type of wit just anywhere.

Classic TV Moment: Tom & Jerry

Tom & Jerry is what all children should watch growing up. And not that crappy, non-violent new stuff (that I only know about through my little brother). Children should be laughing at the legendary original that touched all of our hearts.

There’s an episode where Tom rolls a cigarette like a boss.

And then there’s a bit when Tom, Jerry and two other mice seem to get high

Want to teach your kids about the emotional miseries of adult life?! Wanna show them that life doesn’t always turn out so well?! Then try the episode where Tom & Jerry sit on the train tracks, depressed, waiting for the sweet release of choo-choo-choo-icide.

Fuck yeah, that pun felt good.