I know I’ve not posted for three days. But you probably didn’t know that.
The Venture Bros. is a cartoon action/comedy on Adult Swim that I’d heard of many a time but ignored until my love for cartoons re-emerged.
It sets it’s premise by taking the piss out of children’s adventure shows like Jonny Quest,The Hardy Boysand Scooby-Dooas well as repeatedly referencing comic superheroes and supervillains. The story itself focuses on Dean and Hank Venture, the innocent, over-energetic and extremely vulnerable sons of Rusty Venture, a scientist working in the shadow of his father.
Now, in sheer awesomeness, we also have Brock Samson. The baddest ass- I mean the badassest? The most badass character ever. When I saw he was on this show, I instantly recalled this GIF I saw. Fuck Yeah. To further demonstrate how he’s THE fucking man, he is voiced by Patrick Warburton (Family Guy, The Tick, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command and basically every beefy character in any animated series).
In the first episode alone, Brock kills a mummy, an alligator and two robbers. Despite this, I was disappointed in the first two episodes. But the third episode and on were phenomenal. Fucking phenomenal even. I mean…there’s this
Is that not the most fucked up, twisted-looking, nightmare-inducing contorted, creepy smiling Sasquatch you’ve ever seen?
This show really is something else and the Venture brothers themselves are insanely naive and a real joke on the all American, “gosh!” “golly!”, adventurous, but inexperienced teenager. Plus, thanks to it being a cartoon and not real life, Brock’s violence is so over-the-top that I curse physics and common sense for not making reality more like it.
Debuting in 1960, this moment should come as no surprise from a TV show that demonstrated overt cruelty to prehistoric animals who always looked understandably depressed.
The Classic Moment centres around a specific sponsor, which was tied to the show in its first two seasons. Before I go any further, we must all remember that we’ve all done things we’re not proud of in order to forward ourselves.
Winston cigarettes sponsored The Flintstones, and not in a way that an advert would come as soon as the break began and they’d just say “Winston cigarettes, sponsors The Flintstones“. It was way more convincing.
Fred, Barney and Wilma quit smoking and dropped the sponsorship when Wilma became pregnant. I think they could have had the prehistoric foetus pulling a pack from his skin pocket and lighting up in the womb, but whatever. Instead they changed there sponsor to Welch’s Grape Juice, which was probably chosen because it was Pebbles’ favourite drink.
Did you have a “gay, old time”?…ha….haha….HAHAHA!!! You don’t get that type of wit just anywhere.
Axe Cop currently exists as a webcomic which was the brainchild of one Ethan Nicolle, a comic artist, writer and creator. He has been alive for 29 years, but what’s most awesome about this webcomic is that it started with his five year old brother, Malachai Nicolle, coming up with the story. And if you browse through the comics, we can all agree that it is fucking epic. I mean, just look at this:
I don’t know what you were expected Axe Cop to look like, but I assume that’s pretty close. Now the fire-breathing Tyrannosaurus Rex with machine guns for arms is the kinda borderline heart-attack inducing excitement that many people love. Also, he has sunglasses for fuck sake.
It’s impressive enough that this, now, eight year old has written a madly successful webcomic, but FOX has picked it up for a Season to adapt it into a TV show. What’s better is amazing cast used for the show, including Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation), Patton Oswalt (King of Queens and general funny guy), Ken Marino (Childrens Hospital, Party Down), Megan Mullally (Will and Grace, and everything Nick Offerman has been in).
Even the guest voice actors are epic, with Breaking Bad veterans Giancarlo Esposito (Gus “Fried Chicken” Fring) and Jonathan Banks (Hitman Mike), Ron Huebel (Human Giant, Childrens Hospital), Dan Harmon (Community) and Michael Madson (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction).
I can’t fathom how anyone wouldn’t want to watch this. The webcomic’s popularity is in spite of illiteracy and a epidemic aversion to reading, but this amount of unadulterated action and awesomeness cannot go unseen. The first episode has already been released and the first season has an episode run time of only 6 to 11 minutes. Even if it sucks, the images will be so beautiful on screen, you’ll want to play an episode at your funeral to trick people into thinking your life was anything like this.
The outspoken Community creator, Dan Harmon, has made a new show for Adult Swim (an American channel which broadcasts animated shows) called Ricky and Morty that revolves around a Back to the Future Marty and Doc dynamic with a Doctor Who twist.
In less referency terms, a boy and an aged scientist go on sci-fi adventures much to the dismay of the Morty’s parents voiced by Chris Parnell (30 Rock, Archer) and Sarah Chalke (Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother).
I quickly checked to see if I could watch a preview of it, to pass judgement and deem it look-forwadable or ignorable. This Comic-Con preview can let you decide for yourself, but if a click of the mouse and 2 minutes and 50 seconds of your life if something you would not like to waste or you really value my opinion, it looks like an adult Adventure Time with Finn and Jake with the fantasy elements switched for sci-fi ones. Which is great by me.
It premiers in December. In case you wanted to know.
Here’s a quick post because I can do whatever the fuck I want and I’m sure my views will stay at a steady two.
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcolm in the Middle) hid at the San Diego Comic-Con, being noticed by no one, for the majority of a day, before he revealed himself. Wait though, you haven’t even heard the best part, are you ready? Were you born that way? I mean born ready, not…
Anyways, Bryan Cranston stayed incognito by wearing a realistic and creepy as fuck Heisenberg mask. That is, he was wearing a mask of himself as if he’d murdered himself, skinned (skun?) his own face and wore it Texas Chainsaw Massacre style. I was going to make a joke about Wrinkleface instead of Leatherface, then I remembered this blog is supposed to be funny. Here’s the face that will see every time you close your eyes:
It’s fucking huge. Scrolling down fast through this would be like a screamer video for the deaf. After seeing what it’s like in his own skin, Bryan Cranston ripped off Bryan Craston’s Heisenberg face to dramatically reveal that Bryan Cranston’s lovable face was underneath. Like a twist within a twist.
A while ago, I wrote a short play that was chosen to be performed, amongst others, by the Cafe Society. They go to Cafes and perform plays written about people in Cafes. Everything here revolves around Cafes.
I first assumed I’d hobble over to the Cafe alone and sit amidst the four other people who were willing to pay £9 to watch amateur actors. Then my Mum said she’d like to go, then my brother and eventually it became a family outing.
The pressure was gradually mounting and the closer we got to the show, the more nervous I was and the urge to break away from my family and sprint to my house in Brighton was increasing. When we got there, there was a bit of confusion with my two complimentary tickets but they eventually handed us the makeshift tickets with our names handwritten on the back of each one. It was a highly exclusive event and I assume they did this because, while it’s easy to replicate Times New Roman, copying unknown handwriting it’s a bit more difficult.
The crowd there was bigger than I thought and we’d had serious hopes that our crowd of five would make up half the people in the audience. Instead, we had to scramble for seats and when one of ours was inadvertently stolen by an aged man, we caused a bit of a ruckus as the play was starting.
My show was after the interval so the hopes of leaving once my scene was done plummeted and we were forced to watch about seven or eight plays before mine. And we were pleasantly surprised by how good it was.
Anyway, it’s my play that we’re talking about. Let’s not forget who’s the centre of the universe, right guys? As my scene was coming up, I was freaking the fuck out, but in a calm way that looked only like I was slightly anxious. I was really thinking that no one would laugh and that everyone would somehow knew I’d written it, pull tomatoes out of their bags and throw them towards me. Inevitably I would try to catch them, whether with my hands or mouth, but I’d eventually become overwhelmed and covered in tomato blood. While I was thinking this, my scene had begun.
It didn’t start perfectly. I’d noticed they’d omitted some lines that I’d wrote. If you watch the video and compare it with the script:
You might notice a lot of lines are gone, assuming they’d been taken to the back, made to face the sun and a trigger was quickly pulled. And these weren’t even terrible lines, some of them I considered the funniest parts. I understood to an extent why they had done it. The audience was mostly not my age, which is to say they were significantly older than me. So my inspired joke about the “fappucino” would have gone over the heads of the audience like it most likely did with the director. That being said, they took out a universally understood line where the stoner says the word “hypothetical” wrong and they never warned me about any of it.
One last thing to complain about was that the actor who wasn’t meant to be stoned, was acting like a terrified maniac, screaming lines written for a collected and nonchalant character. You might also notice how, when he goes to give the girl her coffees, he stares at her like he’s in love.
Which is the complete opposite of the point of that interaction. He wasn’t meant to be hard for her, he was supposed to be doing it to be genuinely nice.
Umm, it might seem a pile of shit from the things I’ve said, but it was far from it. Because despite all this, lines I wrote got laughs. People in the audience laughed at something I’d written. And it was actually funny. I thought the stoner guy was cackling a lot, but it was great. I had created something. I was basically God. I am God. Not Kanye West. Me.
Please feel free to comment about the scene, good or bad. Am I being biased, thinking it was funny? You tell me.
Side Note: The guy who runs in at the end is not part of my scene.
Despite each show being a bit dickish to one another in the past, they rightly squashed the beef and now they are doing something that can only be amazing. In my eyes at least. Some details of the episode have been confirmed and I shall now state them. Anyone who finds that small spoilers are a massive problem, skip the next paragraph.
The Griffins visit Springfield. How do they deal with the colour barrier? Well apparently, the Simpsons assume that the Griffins are a tad albino. The Griffins will assume that people in Springfield have a mass, gross addiction to Sunny D. I think. It’s not been confirmed, but I think. Makes sense. As for the characters, Lisa is gonna try and prove that Meg is talented in some way and even though Lisa-centric episodes are boring to all who watch it, Meg-centric episodes are hilarious because everyone hates her. She’s pathetic and it’s brilliant. Bart and Stewie will be pulling pranks and causing trouble in general, hopefully ending in Stewie going too far by murdering or at least torturing someone. Marge and Lois find a lot in common and have some girl time, which sounds like the least interesting arch in the episode, because, like Lisa, Marge’s episodes are usually pretty crappy and devoid of the dumb humour you get with Homer and Bart. And finally, Homer and Peter will be spending the episode trying to decide which beer is better, Pawtucket or Duff beer. Isn’t that amazing? Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson together. Let it sink in, because I can’t possibly describe how funny that could be. Who the fuck knows where Brian is going to fit in all of this, because Santa’s Little Helper isn’t much of a character. And Chris? What is he gonna be doing? Listening to Grandpa Simpson’s compelling stories is my prediction.
If you skipped the last paragraph, I apologise for the lack of substance you may have perceived in this post.
By the way, I’m assuming that the writing of the show will be along the lines of both creators sitting at a table with some paper, with Matt Groening jotting down a script while Seth McFarlene sneakily peers over Matt’s shoulder. It’s a joke about plagiarism. Did you get it?
After my little tangent induced by Katherine Parkinson, let me get back to Moone Boy. It’s a sitcom about a quirky kid who sees an imaginary Chris O’Dowd and calls him Seán (the accent means you have to say Sean as the Irish would say it), This kid, called Martin, lives in some village and the show revolves around his family and school life. His unusual imagination is brought to life in his drawings which, if seen by an adult, would seem rather worrying.
Having your child draw a picture of himself on a bike with a mysterious bearded fellow hitching a ride definitely warrants a serious discussion.
Martin is a charming little freak, who is lovable if you’re an adult, but I feel that, as a kid, I would have despised his well-spoken, confident joy. But that might just be me. His openness would have frightened me. Luckily, I’m all grown up and I’m only slightly unnerved by his mousy smile.
The sitcom itself is unique in the sense that the plot in the pilot seemed to be unexpectedly different from usual sitcoms. Or maybe it’s not different, but done differently. Either way, I enjoyed it. It was definitely funny and interesting and other positive words.
Human Giant is a sketch comedy created by and starring Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation), Rob Huebel (Childrens Hospital) and Paul Scheer (The League).
I’m not usually fond of sketch shows. There’s always a massive hit and miss factor that makes me think “fuck this” and give up on attempting to watch every episode. Key & Peele is an exception since I can’t remember an unfunny sketch and I was sure that it would be the only sketch show I ever devoted time to (fuck never ending on a preposition).
Until today! I didn’t want to watch Human Giant because it was aired on MTV, a channel which has shows like Teen Mom, fucking Jersey Shore and generally features a bunch of people you genuinely believe should be euthanised in the hopes that we might progress considerably faster as a race. And sharing a channel with Snooki is not a promising sign. But Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer are all brilliant comedians and this show is surprisingly good considering the channel, but expected from the comedy trio.
It only ran for two seasons in 2007-2008 so I can only hope that each sketch is as consistent, which is less likely with sketch shows since each sketch is like a mini-episode, it’s easier to run out of ideas as well. I think. I dunno, I’ve never tried to write one, Little Britain scared me away from the idea of sketch shows. I don’t like it. But I came to realise that Little Britain is really just a unique pile of shit. Yeah but no but shut the fuck up.
Maybe that was a bit harsh. Probably not. Here’s a strange painting I found on Google Images of the Human Giant cast, featuring Aziz Ansari’s nipples.
As you may have notice/been blinded by, my blog has changed significantly. There are numerous reasons I’ve done this:
1) Because important things like Recent Posts, Archives, the Follow button and whatnot were all hidden away at the bottom of the page and it’s likely it went under the radar of anyone who wasn’t scouring the blog. I made one attempt to draw attention to the problem in the wittily titled post, Fucking Blog. But I didn’t consider the obvious problem that after a few days, that post would disappear and the only way to find it would have been to go to the bottom, in which case the post would be totally moot. So this new blog design has all that stuff on the side now. Because I know you were all looking for the Follow button, you just couldn’t find it. No excuses now.
Did I say numerous reasons? I meant one lengthy reason.
The fucking bright yellow colour is due to me being unable to fucking save the fucking changes I fucking made when I was trying to fucking customise the fucking theme.
Fucking.
So until I figure out how to fix that, you cannot look at my blog for over 10 seconds for fear of inflicting permanent cornea damage.
It’s not that bad though right? It kinda makes you happy, makes you think there’s hope in the world. Up until you read the words.
Life in a Television Show 