Now, I’m not sure what the definition of “philosophy” is exactly, but putting the word near any other word makes your thoughts sound way more superior and deep. Sorry if it starts to seem like I’m rambling, the only reason I’m writing is because I have a daily quota that I feel the need to keep up with. In other words, I am writing very reluctantly. But I am writing it. So just be glad. Or irked. Depending on whether you like this blog or not. Or know it at all, in which case you won’t be reading this. So fuck you.
Anyway, I thought I’d go into a bit more detail about the way we should live our lives according to TV, because good things always happen on TV. Like the wedding in Peep Show. Or the “BBQ” in Peep Show. Or whenever Mark has sex in Peep Show.
I think we can, pretty much all agree that the best characters in TV shows are the strangest, quirkiest, dumbest and generally the most abnormal. Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation is who we should all be. Although he’s pretty stupid, he’s probably the happiest motherfucker you’ve ever seen. So…yeah…so far, I’ve only said we should be happy. I now officially have the qualifications to be a best-selling author of self-help books.
Why TV shows are an appropriate indication as to how we should live is in the way the characters act so freely. You never watch as a character wonders whether he should run up to his departing ex-girlfriend to get her back because some people are watching him. That’s because those people are extras to the main characters. Background characters who we see once and never again. Just like everyone who walks past you on the street. Imagine if New Girl was more realistic, half the episodes wouldn’t end in the ridiculously public moral realisation. They just have it way better than us.
I mean…I know they’re not real, but still.
People (real people) will act so reserved in public because they’re anxious that someone will shoot them a disapproving look. These people are the extras. Who you’ll never see again and whose opinion means jack shit.
Another things scripted humans do way better than real ones is taking opportunities to do things that might lead to things that will make our day to day life more interesting. Something like going to the shops could mean bumping into an old friend and making plans, and you spending the rest of your life with that person. Maybe that escalated suddenly, but you get my point I hope. If not, re-read the whole thing. Fuck it, read the whole blog.
Basically, take opportunities that you’d normally ignore. Even if it turns out bad, at least it replaces a ephemeral memory of you doing nothing. Plus you can tell it at parties. Or outside of parties. The sky’s the limit.
The last thing I can think of that TV shows teach us is self-awareness. Every character learns something in the end. Now how the fuck is that realistic. I know people whose character flaws hurt other people endlessly, but they ignore any complaints or suggestions for improvement. In TV shows, it takes less than a day for the man to say to his wife,
“Look baby, I’m sorry I ditched you to hang out with my friends. I know you like our couple time and I shouldn’t have been so selfish. I understand what it’s like to be a woman and I can practically feel the pain of childbirth. If being stuck on that rollercoaster today with all the guys taught me anything, it’s that time with you is something I should treasure”
To which the woman replies,
“No, I’m sorry, I should have understood you needed time away, and that I can sometimes be annoying. Your friends are pretty swell. I hated them for years until we went through that scary ride together and we formed bonds through our shared experience”
That will never happen in real life. But we should at least open ourselves up more to the idea that we are flawed and we can improve. Maybe not in a day and maybe not as a result of some wacky and oddly reflective metaphorical situation, but I’m sure we can improve.
Fucking 40 minutes of my life wasted on a philosophy that seems as cheap as a plastic gun from the newsagents. We should definitely all give it a go though. Who wouldn’t want their life like a TV show? At least, a TV show more like The Office US and less like The Office UK.
You’re the main character and basically the centre of the universe. Well…I am.
Life in a Television Show 