Recently I realised that I’ve done nothing but praise the pilots I’ve watched like I’m being paid by various channels to vigorously promote their programs. With my following and influence, they’d clearly be making a massive mistake in overestimating my importance. Maybe I need to review shows that don’t immediately appeal to me or maybe I should just slam a TV show that I love for the sake of keeping some kind of balance. Hmm…
Ugly Americans is absolutely terrible. It’s so terrible that I’m on the second season and I can’t stand it. I’ve seen the pilot twice and I regret it.
The show revolves around a man named Mark Lily, a social worker in the most bizarrely integrated New York ever conceived. A city festering with monsters, manbirds whose language consists mostly of variations of the sentence “Suck my balls”, koala people, demons, wizards, sexually reproducing trees, horny zombies, timid trolls and land whales.
Is there really any more to talk about? That sounds like a pile of shit. A TV show where the plot limits match the limits of the writers’ imagination? Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea?
When a TV show has episodes about treegasms, manbirds boxing with their dicks, King Kong’s agoraphobia and Mark having to kill 499 little baby versions of his wizard friend, I almost don’t ever want to stop writing lists of things in Ugly Americans since they all sound so fucking unusual on paper.
Watch this. I can’t keep writing it’s crap out of fear that people might take it seriously (I have very little faith in human intelligence). So if you watch anything I’ve recommended so far, let it be this. Then you’ll have so much faith in my opinion that I’ll never have to try and convince you to do anything again.
Life in a Television Show 